When black binder clips simply won't do

I just spent $2 of my Christmas money on a pack of trendy faux bois binder clips from Staples. They also have a fetching black and white pattern in a larger size.

I know. Who'd have thought "Staples" and "trendy" would appear in the same sentence? Seriously, why are all the office stores in this country so dull? Office Max, Office Depot, Staples... They're like the PC in the Mac commercials. See Jane Work is the Mac. Please, SJW, open brick-and-mortar stores all over the country. Hurry!